Testimony, Part 3 - Darkness

Willy's Overland Pickup, similar to my brother-in-law's.

"God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart."

--Charles Spurgeon

I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. Psalm 6:6 NLT

"1974" left off with homesickness settling in on me as my sister left her husband and moved my nephew and me from a house in the country to a run down apartment complex known as Sergeant City. It was named Sergeant City because it served as NCO housing for personnel stationed at Pendleton Field during WWII. But by 1974, the complex had become low income housing. 

Interesting sidenote: The 17th Bombardment Group, who participated in the Doolittle Raids over Tokyo in 1942 were among the units who were stationed in Pendleton.

Whatever benefit was to be had by leaving my brother in law was short-lived because, not only was I longing to be reunited with my mother, life in that small tenement apartment soon became very crowded. A friend of my sister left her husband (an abusive situation) and with her two kids, moved in with us. It's ironic, but getting away from an abusive situation may liberate those involved from the abuse but the emotional price is still hell to pay. With two stressed out mothers and four stressed out kids packed in one tiny apartmemt, there was little peace to be found. The closing months of 1974 are, without a doubt, the darkest period of my life. To this day, when I read Psalm 6:6, my mind goes back to the time in that small apartment when I, longing for peace and stability, cried myself to sleep almost nightly. 

One bright spot in all of this, was my new teacher. The move to a different part of town meant enrolling in a different school. This, I have realized, was a work of God. My new teacher, who was aware of what I was going through, had an uncanny ability to engage her whole class, including me, in whatever she was teaching. Looking back, I speculate, had I remained in the first class I was in, I would have fallen behind and not fared so well.

Before October ended, my sister met and began dating a new boyfriend. He seemed nice enough. He was fun loving and had quite the sense of humor; laughing and yukking it up with his friends and cousins who always came around to visit. During Christmas break, we traveled over the mountains in his '49 Willy's Overland pickup which had no heater and holes in the floorboards, to his aunt and uncle's house. Fond memories! 😖

Whenever this new boyfriend's family got together, all the grownups gathered, visited, laughed... and drank. I'm not being critical; goodness knows, every family has its issues. This family accepted my sister, nephew and me instantly. I eventually grew to love them as my own because, in many respects, they were a more tight knit family than I had ever known. This helped me adjust to not being able to live with my mother. (Another work of God.)

Early 1975 found my sister's friend and her kids having moved to their own apartment. Not long after, a small house across the way opened up and we moved into it. My sister's divorce from her first husband was finalized and she became engaged to her boyfriend. Together, they began working on the process of him adopting my nephew. All of this was well and good but there were issues. My new brother in law, it turned out, had a hot temper. My sister's wasn't exactly cool either. Add to the mix a two year old and me with my foibles, and... well, more conflict.

We definitely weren't a church going family by this time, but there was a girl in my class who invited me to her church. About all I recall with this church is being introduced to memorizing scripture. Not much else happened with that but this is just another example of  God sill keeping good tabs on me. This wouldn't be the last time a classmate inviting me to church had an impact on my life. My next installment will reveal how God used another classmate, who invited me to church, in a HUGE way.

In closing this chapter, it seems as though I am writing an autobiography instead of a testimony. Yet, God was very was active in my life. Like in the book of Esther, the Name of God is never mentioned, yet, His divine intervention is woven all through Esther's story. In looking back at my darkness, I've often wondered, "Why did God allow me to be separated from my mother?" "Why did He allow me to be placed in the midst of all that turmoil?" I have no answers to those questions, yet, in retrospect, I can now see how His divine intervention still surrounded me. Just writing about this era of life for my blog has caused me to see examples of His hand guiding me in ways I had not realized until now. What can I say? My testimony is not just how I came to Christ but it is how God has ALWAYS been with me.

Blessings.