For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Anyone who believes in him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned, because he has not believed in the name of the one and only Son of God. This is the judgment: The light has come into the world, and people loved darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. - John 3:17-19 CSB
To say the summer of '79 was full of debauchery would be an understatement. I'll spare you the details but suffice it to say that summer is not something I am proud of. Oh, I thought I was having fun. I thought I was finally on the cusp of taking a stand for myself. The truth was, I was on the road to certain destruction. Yet, through the things that should have led to my demise, God orchestrated what I would later discover was a great escape. In the midst of sin and excess, God saw to it the bottom fell out of my living situation in Oregon. Things had gotten so out of hand, my sister had to concede that I would be better off moving back with Mom. Arrangements were made and I was flown down to California. In a bit, I'll explain why leaving Oregon was such an escape.
Back in California, at last! It felt good to finally be back in my hometown reconnecting to the life I once knew. Looking up old friends and revisiting old haunts was good for the soul. But I was a changed person. The past couple years left me with a lot of emotional baggage. In all my angst, paranoia and confusion I was not able to tell if someone was trying to be sincere or trying to mock me. I was determined not to let anyone push me around but more often than not, I was a pushover. Unfortunately, I had not lost my penchant for partying. Fortunately, my neurotic behavior made me an outcast so access to alcohol and drugs was greatly reduced. Add to all of this, typical teenage rebellion, and before long, the relationship between my mom and me was getting pretty rocky.
In order to cut the tension at home, Mom encouraged me to get out and get involved in various extra curricular activities. The activities helped a little but they frequently did little more than get me out of the house for a few hours. I still had to go home at night. To get to activities, I usually had to walk or ride the transit bus. I did a lot of walking by myself. While I walked, I began to ponder my relationship with God. Spiritually, by this time, I was thouroughly immersed in New Age philosophies. I wanted to believe God did not judge anyone; He merely allowed us to be reincarnated over and over until we learned whatever we were supposed to, then, from there...??? Even though I knew this idea was based on nothing more than my own invention, this was still more palatable than the idea of standing condemned before a holy God. Yet, nagging questions never left my mind: "How do I know I'm right? What if I'm wrong?" I rememberd seeing a quote from Mark Twain that read, "Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." Somehow, that notion clicked with me. I knew Heaven was not gained by having your good outweighing your bad. If it was, I knew I was in deep trouble.
Finally, after less than a year with my mom, tension reached a breaking point. Both of us knew I wasn't going to be able to stay with her any longer. This realization came as a relief because I hated the school I was going to and did not want to return for my junior year. Arrangements were made with my other sister and I was flown up to live with her and her family in Idaho.
Now, here's why I'm calling this chapter The Great Escape: Little did I know at the time, a new drug was gaining popularity in the Irrigon/Boardman area. The drug was methamphetamine. Had I remained where I was, living the life I was, I am almost certain I would have gotten hooked on it within the following year. A number of classmates, including a friend of mine, who was considered a good kid, he didn't even hang out with the stoners, he got hooked and dropped out of school. He was dead by his mid twenties. I can now see God's sovereign hand allowing everything around me to crumble so I would be sent away from the coming disaster. However, getting away from the drugs was only half the story. You see, whereas meth was arriving in one town, I ended up being moved to another town where something else had taken hold: Young Life.
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